If America Were A Corporation, There Would Be No Soup For You!

First,  imagine for a moment that President Obama is the CEO of a major corporation , let’s say a soup company, we’ll call it The United Soups of America. They have such amazing offerings like Liberty Split Pea, Freedom Noodle and everyone’s favorite, God Bless Cream of Broccoli.

Now imagine that Congress are the stockholders of said company, and as we all know, stockholders exist for one reason only – to make more money.

Now, CEO Obama took over the company in a time of crises. They were in massive debt from declaring war on a rival soup company, a war based on lies, in which millions of dollars were spent with no clear objective. With that, the company also spends enormous amounts of money on things like union-busting, night security and spying on the competition – and by enormous, we’re talking half of what they bring in as profit, at least.

Now enters the new CEO, intelligent and ready to turn things around. Problem is the stockholders won’t cooperate. Any plans CEO Obama brings to the table like better pay for the employees, better working conditions, a safer soup product – all meet with an emphatic NO!!! from those who see these things as somehow cutting into their profits. Even when CEO Obama explains that studies have shown, again and again, a happier workforce makes for better productivity (and thus, more profits), the stockholders remain rigid in their opposition to changing the status quo.

Now, imagine CEO Obama also finds ways to save some money AND help the environment with the way the company functions. Changing their trucking routes and switching to diesel fuel, putting in energy-efficient lights, solar panels, etc in the factory and even changing the way the cans are made for the soup. He also discovers that a good portion of the ingredients could be changed to organic, without much price difference, giving them that extra selling point over their competition and providing a healthier product for their customers.

Stockholders: NO!!!

But what CEO Obama is able to accomplish is fair pay for the women at The United Soups of America, ending discrimination against those employees who are gay and providing healthcare for employees that are going into bankruptcy just trying to pay their medical bills. Meanwhile, he is also pushing for a wage that fits more with the cost of living, filling in a few potholes in the parking lot and even giving an end date for those employees that have been forced to fight in The Great Soup Battle…a battle that should have never happened, as their nearest competition was not even seriously competitive or a threat in any way.

And the stockholders, having been shown time and again that all of these measures would actually bring them MORE PROFIT, still decide this is not the way they want the company run and decide to try to remove CEO Obama from the head of The United Soups of America.

Now, two things you have to wonder.

Why would these stockholders, who SWEAR it’s all about this company doing the best they can to be the best in the business, be trying to undermine solutions that would actually bring them more success in the long run? Not only are they damaging their reputation in the soup world, and costing their own company millions in profits, but also undermining something that could potentially create millions of more jobs and consumers who could actually afford to buy their soup. It’s almost as if they were sent from a rival soup company to destroy this one from the inside, isn’t it?

And why would those people who eat a soup that could be made cheaper, healthier and with less damage to our environment – stand behind those stockholders even when they’ve been presented the facts – it’s not like they will reap any of the rewards? There is actually, for the consumer, not one thing they will benefit from in trying to remove CEO Obama from the head of this company (but lord knows if you happen to point out he’s Black, they will shout and scream that THAT is not the reason).

I wish someone would explain, if it has nothing to do with his color, then what is your logical explanation for trying to keep your soup as shitty as possible? Are you just that afraid of nice things?

You see, at the end of the day, this company will completely fail if they continue on this course for very long, because no company can survive when it is being undermined by those who swear they want what is best – while only fighting from within to keep what is worst.

Lucky for us, there is no United Soups of America and we’re not being asked to eat over-priced, environmentally damaging God Bless Cream of Broccoli soup while half of us wish there was a better option and the other half is happy shoveling shit down their throats – because that would just make us look like a country full of morons. And we Americans, we’re anything but stupid…right?

Vince’s books and other stuff can be found at his website, Random Crap.

Author: The Blue Route