Georgia Passes New Law: Every Gun Owner Is Required To Shoot One Family Member

Don’t worry, it’s not as horrible as it sounds. The new law states, very clearly, that the gunshot wound must be in a spot that is not life-threatening.

This new law is an attempt by Georgia Law Makers to make Americans less afraid of guns. As a co-sponsor of the new bill, Senator Saxby Chambliss (R), states “It’s sort of like when you let your kid get a little bit burnt when they play with fire, it’s how they learn to have more respect for fire. By allowing Georgians to know what a bullet into the flesh feels like, it removes the stigma that guns are to be feared, while at the same time helps them to understand that guns are not toys and can be very dangerous.”

Opponents to the new law have stated this will cause thousands of unnecessary deaths, as people will not even know where a ‘safe spot’ to shoot someone is. Not to be deterred, the program will enact a state-wide ‘pamphlet brigade‘, in which millions of pamphlets will be air-dropped by crop-dusters, all over the State. As one lawmaker stated, “This air-drop will not only help us to reach those harder-to-reach Georgians up in the hills, but give work to many unemployed crop-duster pilots.”

Television ads will also be purchased, using up-to-date animation, on how the Shoot A Loved One program should best be implemented. There has been some uproar from Bush-era Republicans, who don’t like the re-enactment of Vice-President Cheney shooting his friend in the face scenario, being used in the Don’t Do It This Way portion of the advertisement.

Many communities will also be having Shooting Clinics, where a loved one can bring in their target to have experts guide them through the actual pulling of the trigger. According to the pamphlet being handed out, the knee and shoulder are considered somewhat safer places to ensure you won’t kill your family member, but most people we’ve talked to have stated they will just be aiming for the ass.

Shoot A Loved One, or similar programs, are now being proposed in Mississippi, Arkansas and Virginia State Capitols. The NRA has announced it will be releasing a video game for kids under the same title, hoping to show youngsters the beauty of combining two things you love, your gun and your family.


S. Bernstein is the creator of stuff, which can be seen at

Author: The Blue Route

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