George W. Bush Library is Actually More Amazing Than First Imagined

A surprise to critics and naysayers alike, the George W. Bush Presidential Library, in Dallas, could very well be seen as one of the greatest Presidential libraries in recent history.

Early attendees were astonished at the amount of ‘hands-on’ and interactive displays within the museum portion of the complex. Among the favorites were The Katrina Experience, the 2000 Election Calculator and something called Iraq War – What Would You Do?

Museum curator, Robert Tonto, explained what one will experience upon entering the library:

“We’ve really cut no corners when it comes to the George W. Bush Presidential Library, in fact, we’ve built a monument to a great man that will make America proud. From the Katrina Experience, which allows one to sit in a life-size version of the seating area of Air Force One, where you can look out the window at a scaled model of a flooded New Orleans, including small figures of people waving to the President the way it really happened. There’s also the 2000 Election Calculator, a 10 foot calculator that no matter how many different ways you push the buttons, it always gives the wrong answer. But our most famous exhibit is called Iraq War – What Would You Do? It’s an interactive game where you sit in the life-size version of the Situation Room while an actor who looks uncannily like Vice-President Cheney, tells you what decisions to make while handing you lollipops. That’s been a real hit with the younger people!”

The library was also planning on debuting a life-size statue of George W. Bush at its entrance, but unfortunately the piece had not been finished in time for the opening, the artist apologizing that it was taking longer than he thought to “...get that stupid, fucking look on his face.” 

So as the doors to the George W. Bush Presidential Library are soon to be opened to the general public, whether you spend your day wandering around the Coloring Book Room, trying your hand in the Let’s Make Up Words Room or just enjoy a nice snack in the Pretzel Lounge, it’s definitely going to be a hot spot for every American family who has the misfortune of having to spend one more shitty day in Texas.


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Author: The Blue Route

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