Due To Bleak Outlook, President And Congress Vote To Nuclear Bomb U.S. And Start Over

With an overwhelming majority not seen since the vote to invade Iraq based on lies, the President and both Parties in Congress have finally come to the conclusion that America will never recover from the path we are on, and instead should attack ourselves with our own nuclear devices, creating a do-over for America.

After the historic vote, the White House put out this statement:

“With our lack of decent healthcare, decent education, decent jobs, decent pay and our massive depression, anger and overall ignorance in this country, we have come to the conclusion that some things are just too screwed up to try to fix anymore. What America needs is a clean slate, an Etch-A-Sketch moment that will allow us to start again from square one.”

President Obama, in a short speech in the Rose Garden, stated:

“It’s not like we didn’t see this coming. We built this country on the backs of slaves and murdered millions in the process. We’ve completely created a system that allows 99% of our citizens to live like cattle while the top 1% try to figure out why they are being forced to treat the rest of this country as well as cattle. As the last four elections have shown us, we can put people as completely dysfunctional as Bush, Palin or Romney in front of the American people and almost half of them will vote for the dumb person, based on their hate and fear. At the end of the day, decades of treating our educational system like crap, creating non-stop wars around the globe and spending our time locking up nearly everyone we get our hands on – all while not being overly concerned with how we are destroying our land, poisoning our food or ruining our environment…well, frankly, we’re all just a bunch of screw ups.”

In light of this announcement of self-destruction by nuclear detonation, some groups have risen up to protest what they see as a drastic measure, but once they were offered a new iPad, some Nike’s and the possibility of their own reality show, they became oddly quiet in their outrage.

The destruction date is still being debated. Most feel it should happen during the summer months, but Senators from Arizona are fighting this request, saying it’s so damn hot in their State they fear they won’t even know it was happening, which they feel is unfair to their constituents.


S. Bernstein is the creator of stuff, which can be seen at www.TheMessyGlory.com

Follow S. Bernstein on Twitter: @MrBernstein on Twitter

Author: The Blue Route

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